MARINE, Hikari Conti

[COUNT]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,width: 460px; padding: 10px; background-image:url('http://i536.photobucket.com/albums/ff327/theSasa/paidrequests/awpp.png'); border-top: 10px #3e7f9a solid; border-bottom: 10px #3e7f9a solid;] HIKARI CONTI MARINE this character is played by COUNT PERSONAL INFORMATION NICKNAMES: 'Firefly Hikari' BIRTHDATE: 8th december AGE: twenty-two GENDER: male RACE: human SEXUALITY: heterosexual MARITAL STATUS: single ALIGNMENT: chaotic good POSITION: rear admiral CREW OR ORGANIZATION: n/a APPEARANCE INFORMATION FACE CLAIM: tsunayoshi sawada; katekyo hitman reborn HAIR: hazel jagged styling longer over his ears EYES: hazel always reflect his mood tends to squint them HEIGHT: 5"7' WEIGHT: 143 lbs BODY BUILD: skinny rather muscular because of his intense training, but not excessively ripped his tiny posture makes it easy for the man to blend into crowds ATTIRE: When on marine business, Hikari wears a large, white hooded cloak. The marine isignia and the kanji of his 'Chaotic Justice' are displayed on the back. Underneath, he wears a simple buttoned shirt, usually a black one and bright red pants. When not working for the marines, the man tends to change the white cloak for a black one, with the insignia of his Marine crew displayed on the back. The rest of the outfit tends to stay the same. OTHERS: n/a PERSONALITY INFORMATION LIKES: reading travelling the sea cannons children food DISLIKES: deserts guns darkness conservative people SKILLS: excellent endurance fast runner great sense of orientation PERSONALITY: RIGHTEOUS ♛ Hikari has an overwhelming sense of justice and takes great pride in making sure that everyone gets what they deserve. This is one of the main reasons why he wished to become a marine, the man wanted to be a bringer of justice, a keeper of peace. OPEN-MINDED ♛ Hikari is always open to new ideas, new ways to do things. He will always be the first one to admit that he was wrong, and try something else. Being conservative, to him, is the same as being ignorant. The world changes constantly, so why shouldn't he? INDEPENDENT ♛ Leaving his parental house at the age of seventeen has caused Hikari to become a fully independent human being. He has been alone for years, and has managed to always do what needed to be done on his own. LOYAL ♛ There isn't one person more loyal to those he cares about than Hikari. The man will do whatever it takes to protect those he loves. This includes not only people, but the world government as well. He would give his own life to protect it from harm, as to him, it is the only reason why this world isn't covered in chaos and destruction. COURAGEOUS ♛ Hikari will not run from danger, he swore not to ever bow down to evil, and the man will do anything to keep that oath up. He doesn't care who his opponent is, if it is for the good of the world, the man'll take on any opponent that comes before him. COMBAT INFORMATION SPECIALTY: Hikari tends to avoid violence, but has been trained to deal with conflicts if necessary. When obliged to, he will fight by combining a mix of speed and precision to bring his foe down. Because of his posture, people easily overlook him or tend not to take him serious, but the truth is that this guy is a midget to handle with caution. FIGHTING STYLE: Hikari uses a combination of different unarmed fighting styles. He combines various martial arts techniques with the regular Navy fighting style to obtain a unique, varied form of combat. WEAPONS: a pair of copper brass knuckles WEAPONS ABILITIES: none for now. BACKGROUND INFORMATION HISTORY: coming soon OOC INFORMATION cbox name: COUNT AGE: eighteen EXPERIENCE: seven years OTHER CHARACTERS: n/a FACE CLAIM: [color=3e7f9a]▍[/color] [b][color=48596d]KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN[/color],[/b] sawada, tsunayoshi [color=3e7f9a]–[/color] conti, hikari by rimy ♥ of btn!

[GRIM]

HOLD UP!

Okay, first things first, there is a rule next to the cbox that clearly says not to ask about applications there. When you complete your application, then you are to post in the notification board just like everyone else. There are only two active staff at the moment and not only are we not capable of monitoring the cbox 24/7, but we also don't monitor the application of every single person on the board. It does not help that part of your application is unfinished. The only reason I am checking this is because I won't have time later and because there are some key things that need to be fixed before this will be accepted. Alright, so let's start:

1. Body Build - The main problem I have in this description is that it is very contradictory and the wording for some of the descriptions made this so confusing. In one word, you call him skinny and in the next, you call him muscled. I think the description that your going for is athletic or possibly toned, which sounds better than simply what he is not. Another is a reference to his posture allowing him to blend in. Just for reference, posture is the alignment of a body when standing or sitting. (This is what people mean when they say someone has good or bad posture). A better alternative and what I think you were shooting for would be his stature or height, though even that has little to do with allowing a person to simply blend end. I know short people who stand out like a neon sign, so this needs to be rewritten.

2. Personality - I normally don't have any problems with people listing and giving a description for their personality traits. (Honestly, I prefer having it written out in paragraph form, because it's more fun to read and tends to show more effort put into the character, but that's more a preference and I don't take off of for it.) However, my problem here is that you only bothered to list the characters positive qualities. If you are going to use the list system, I expect you to list out, at least, five of his negative qualities to go along with his positive ones, because I don't care who the character is - everyone has flaws. It's that simple.

3. Specialty - Okay, again, posture has nothing to do with his blending in. A "specialty" does not include his basic fighting strategy, it is mainly to cover what he is the most talented at. If he relies heavily on his speed in combat, then this needs to be more about his speed and how he uses it, not how he blends in or what 'most' opponents may do. I have said this on other apps, but the profile is suppose to be solely about your character. I don't want to see any predictions on how other people normally react towards them, because you are not playing everyone's characters and each person is allowed to react however they see fit. Predetermining a reaction borders on god-modding in some sense, so please change this.

4. Fighting Style - This is where most of his fighting style should have gone. From what I could gather which wasn't much, the character is primarily a specialist in hand-to-hand combat, who uses various martial art styles. You need to be A LOT more descriptive on this subject. There are in reality hundreds of various martial arts forms, each focusing on a specific manner in which they take down an opponent. Many martial arts also tend to use more than just your hands, so you need to get specific. Its fine if you want him to be primarily a fist fighter, in which case, I recommend looking at styles like Boxing or Jeet Kun Do. If you want him to use more throws or grappling, then Akido, Judo, and fewer of the kicking styles like Brazilian Jujitsu and Tae Kwon Do. It's not uncommon for many people to practice a mixed form of martial arts, but I need to know more about the style than simply he used different types. Tell me how it works, what makes it so effective, and give the reader a feel for what they are up against.

5. Weapon - Again, you need to be more descriptive. Your welcome to use a picture as well, but I need at least a couple sentences describing them, besides just listing. On a completely different side note, I could not tell if copper was the color the brass knuckles or the actual metal with which they were supposed to be made, quite simply due to lack of description. On a side note, I'm not sure if your aware, but copper is by far one of the softest metals around. If you've ever seen a penny or how easy it is to bend one with your teeth, it becomes obvious that the metal is very prone to denting or damage, even as a cover metal. Personally, sticking with brass or iron is a better option, since it is much harder and resistant toward impacts, where as copper and silver tend to be softer metals, making them great for making coins or jewelry, but very poor choices when attempting to forge a weapon, especially something like knuckles hence, why they are called brass knuckles, from the material they were most often forged from.

6. History - No... That's really all I have to say to that. I will not accept any 'coming soon' lines in an applications history or any other part of a profile, for that matter. When I first saw it, I thought I was reading an unfinished profile, but since that isn't the case, I'll make this simple. You don't have to write a novel or give every tiny detail about the character's past in the history, but I expect there to be at least a couple paragraphs explaining:
1) Where he is originally from (One of the Four Blues, the Grand Line, The Calm Belt, ect.)
2) Why he joined the Marines
3) What training he has had (because he did not magically acquire his skills)
And 4)How he managed to obtain such a high rank in the Marines at only 22 (which I'm trying to be very lenient on, but if the descriptions do not impress, I have no problem not accepting him under this rank as it is currently the highest Marine position a character can fill starting off.)
If you would like to write a mention in the history that very few people know of his past, then that much will be allowed. However, it still needs to be written out for the admins to agree whether or not it will be accepted.

7. Display Name - Finally, if his first and last name are Hikari Conti - then you need to change your display name so that it is not only in capital letters, but also so that it matches the character's name. This goes along with the one character per account rule, so your display name should read - HIKARI CONTI - end of discussion.

Alright, I think that about covers it. When you are finished with these changes, then you should post on the Notification Board in the registration section. DO NOT post that you are done on the cbox, period. You have been warned The admins do not look there and it will be ignored if you do it again. Once you've posted on the proper boards, however, one of the admins will re-read and grade that app.

MADE BY MINNIE of BTN